What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
12.06.2025 09:14
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Why does Filipino culture dictate that parents should be treated as gods?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Make Nazis afraid again!
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
How can you maintain self-control?
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